Let me start off by saying, last year was unbelievable. At the start of last year I would have NEVER in a million years thought that it would have led us to where we all are today. I never saw anything that transpired this past year in my future. I definitely didn’t think I would be where I am now. I wake everyday with another chance to make an impact in someone’s life by doing something that I absolutely love and am passionate about.
But I didn’t end up here haphazardly, per se. I visualized these things years ago. And with each visualization, I would brush it off as a crazy thought. Something that was not for me. Not in my future. I didn’t think it would be possible. I just knew my degree in Business Management would come in handy at some point, and expected the degree to benefit a company, as oppose to myself. I was complacent with that. Life was fine that way.
Life started happening though. In, 2019 my life changed completely! My son was diagnosed with something that could possibly impact the remainder of his life and mine. And that lit a fire in me. I had to call off work ALOT. His safety was my concern. I almost didn’t send him back to daycare because I wanted to ensure that he was always in good hands. With Mommy, of course. But God works in mysterious ways and I soon found out that the teachers there caring for him had sons that had gone through, or were still dealing with, what he was experiencing. Those teachers assured me that they would look after him and instilled the confidence that I needed to trust them with him and I was able to go back to work.
I realized though, that I could no longer depend on a company. I had to go out here and get what it was I needed. For him. For my family. For myself. The things I needed and wanted wasn’t always evident. But would reveal itself periodically. I had people nudging me to walk into my purpose and passion. I brushed it off. I had ideas but was letting fear hold me back. The woman I fought off for years, but God had his way and I finally gave in. I’m going to discuss some things I experienced and what helped me move forward with making the changes necessary and embracing the woman I was becoming.
Impostor Syndrome
You ever felt like you were trying to be someone other than yourself? Like you were being a fake. As I began to step into the new version of myself, I felt like I was being “phony”. I was starting a business as a fitness professional for the first time ever. I constantly questioned myself and the route I was taking. Who did I think I was? According to Merriam-Webster, “the impostor phenomenon, impostor syndrome, as it’s now usually called, is commonly understood as a false and sometimes crippling belief that one’s successes are the product of luck or fraud rather than skill.” I felt like an imposter and I struggled with moving forward with my business despite the fact that I had experienced my own physical transformation, obtained the knowledge to understand how nutrition and activity played a role in weight loss by becoming a Certified Personal Trainer, and I assisted and was successful with helping others reach their goals. I was already the person I was fighting not to become. I was holding myself back from being able to help more people and making a shift in my life.
Tribe of Homies
I doubted myself A LOT at the beginning. I talked myself out of making changes and moving forward with ideas I had. I would share some ideas with friends and family because that’s what we do when we become excited about something, right? There were some who talked the ideas down or gave negative feedback. But there were others that encouraged me. They told me to stop doubting myself. They told me to focus on the things that inspired me to move forward. They told me to continue moving forward because I had all it took, plus some, to make it happen! Those are the people you need to surround yourself with. The ones who encourage you to do the things that you are capable of, but afraid to. They are still my go to people when I have doubt. This also taught me to understand the tribe you have around you. Not everyone is going to build you up when you need it. Be aware of that too!
Jumping Off the Ledge
I reached a point where I was tired of battling myself. I was tired of going back and forth with what was possible. A spark just came over me and I went for it! I heard enough encouragement from the people who believed in me and now it was time to believe in myself. And I JUMPED!!! I was terrified the entire fall but it ended up becoming one of the best decisions I had ever made. I am now able to incorporate all the things I love into a business that is helping others make transformations of their own. It’s a rewarding feeling to see that I am helping other people. And its even more rewarding that I now have the belief in myself to do things that scare me a bit! I know that the world won’t fall apart if I don’t do everything perfectly. We are all human and most people don’t even care!
Give Yourself Some Grace
Even though I realized I was experiencing the Imposter Syndrome, had all the encouragement I needed from others, began to believe in my own abilities, I still had doubts. I would make strides, and with that would come more doubt. More strides, more doubt. Then one of those people who cared and believe in me told me to give myself some grace. And I have been doing so ever since. I am my biggest critic and always have been. But I have also always been capable of so much more. I became tired of playing it safe. Now I will never look back. So even when you have a hint of doubt, give yourself some grace and jump off the ledge…again and again.
Be prepared to feel like you are “faking it”. Keep going. You will have naysayers in your life who will try to make you second guess yourself and your decisions. Those people may be very close to you. Find others to confide in. Feel that lump in your throat from fear, and move forward anyway! Know that you will mess up, and know that that is ok. We have desires in our heart for our lives and we often hold ourselves back due to fear. Be afraid, and do it anyway!! ❤️
